"So many weddings, so little time" has been the theme this summer! I'm very thankful that I am of a certain age and most of my friends are married and my bridesmaid days are long gone.
Looking back, I remember all of the bridesmaid dresses that I was voluntold to purchase (A whopping total of seven). Some of them were pretty but the majority of them were not.. They hung in a spare closet at my mother's house for years and I'm not entirely sure what happened to them.
For my wedding, I only had one bridesmaid, my niece Jade. She is one of my closest friends and I love her to the moon and back. For me, keeping the wedding party very small (only five people) was the best option. I asked if she had a dress that would go with a fall themed wedding and luckily, she did. Could she be any prettier?
I was so lucky to have ZERO drama with a wedding party. Many of my friends have not been so lucky. I've heard horror stories about dress fittings gone terribly wrong, bridesmaid/Maid of Honor fights, refusal to wear specific colors/styles of dress and even refusing to walk in the processional with certain groomsmen. Not only is this bad manners and etiquette but honey, it makes you look like a jerk and a brat.
Here are a few tips for those of you participating as a bridesmaid or Maid of Honor in an upcoming wedding.
1. Accept that the Maid of Honor is your leader. This lady (or gentleman) has the ultimate responsibility to make the bride happy. If you don't care for this person, well tough. You're going to have to suck it up for your dear friend who was gracious enough to ask you to be in her wedding party.
2. Get to know the other bridesmaids. Over the next several weeks and months, you will be spending a considerable amount of time with these people. Find out who they are and their interests. You may even make a few new friends.
3. Help plan the shower(s). Although this duty falls to the Maid of Honor and the brides family, be a good sport and offer your assistance. I guarantee that the bride and MOH are feeling overwhelmed. Check out my post on how to plan a great shower on a budget.
4. This wedding isn't about you. Let me say that again; this wedding isn't about you. It doesn't matter how you feel in the dress, if you hate the hideous color of the dress, if the shoes are over $100 and you will never wear them again and if the chosen hairstyle isn't flattering to your features. This wedding isn't about you. Mind your manners and get over yourself. Don't make suggestions on how you think that things can be better. The bride has a million ideas in her head and she doesn't need one more suggestion from her bridesmaids.
5. Volunteer to help with errands and tasks. The bride will appreciate not having to ask if someone can help with finishing the wedding favors or totaling the RSVP count. She may also need help with setting up her gift registries. This is especially true if she is registering with multiple stores (some of them being local) and preparing for multiple showers.
6. Don't cause problems, steal the spotlight or go against the grain. If you are in a wedding, chances are you are of "marrying" age and could possibly be planning your own wedding. Do not talk about your wedding, your colors, your wedding party or how you would/will do things and for heaven sake, don't steal ideas for your own wedding. Refer to #4 above.
Until next time...